The Two Sides of The Self

There are two sides of the self. The first is a surface level self, the one that people see and what we spend our lives constantly perfecting. The second is the genuine self, the one that we bury to please the people around us. We are consistently branding ourselves in attempt of achieving what society defines as successful, whether that be in daily interaction or online. This continuation of suppressing our genuine identities with the added notion of conforming to the routines of modern life leaves a society of surface level identities. Both “The Buried Life” by Matthew Arnold and “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot explore this theme as they depict the different treatments of the divided self.

“The Buried Life” by Matthew Arnold depicts a man speaking to his lover, seeking a deeper connection to express his true self to her. The conversation goes awry when his lover does not want to open up to him, causing him to bury his true feelings, thus a continuation of “The Buried Life”. Arnold comments on how we mask our true identities as “a blank indifference” in fear of being judged or made fun of (19). He expresses that even a romantic relationship, as intimate as it may be, is “too weak” to reveal the masks that people guard themselves with in order to hide what they really feel. (12) He poses the question, if you can’t reveal to your lover your truest self, who can you reveal it to?

“The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot comments on the status of the modern man beginning with the poem’s speaker, Prufrock. With Prufrock’s stream of consciousness framing the text, the reader is introduced to a Victorian man going through a spiritual crisis as a result of his boring, unimaginative, routine, and oppressive existence. Prufrock’s life consists of meaningless gestures and routine encounters which renders him to a life of mediocrity and predictability. He struggles to tend to his genuine self, leaving him helpless in a world that is seemingly beyond his own control.

The divided self is defined in the poem “The Buried Life” as a mask that conceals a person’s true self. Arnold articulates that people act out this part, creating these two versions of themselves, one seen and one hidden. The suppressed side is “alien to the rest” as they continue to repress their true self in an attempt to conform to societal standards (31).

Arnold utilizes a buried stream in his poem as a metaphor to symbolize the suppressed self as he writes, “The unregarded river of our life / Pursue with indiscernible flow its way; / And that we should not see / The buried stream” (39-42). With the underground stream taking place of the suppressed self, the genuine self is hidden underground, unnoticed by the rest of the world. But the stream is incapable of stopping. Nature is unstoppable and so is human nature. Arnold argues that in nature where all streams have a source, all lives in human nature have their beginning. With this understanding, a man can glimpse and “thinks he knows / The hills where his life rose, / And the sea where it goes” (96-98). Arnold’s metaphor not only touches on the divided self, but how humans are incapable of completely suppressing it.

With an acknowledgement of the unstoppable force of one’s true identity, the narrator ultimately obtains a larger perspective on his “buried life”. In the narrator's breakthrough, he “becomes aware of his life’s flow” and has a greater understanding of finding his genuine identity (88). He realizes that the notion of the self is to find it on your own, and make the buried stream flow. He seeks his beloved to help him realize his genuine self, but his inability to communicate renders him even more hopeless until he realizes that he has to be true to himself. With this awareness, he realizes that the only person that can reveal his genuine identity is ultimately himself. Arnold identifies the confliction between the self who thinks that he is deciding his fate, who thinks he can “well-nigh change his own identity”, and the self who pursues life with a “blind uncertainty” which actually drives him into the buried life. (34, 43)

Arnold also argues that we are simply all in these disguises, unable to express ourselves in fear of laughs or judgement. But this isn’t just the narrator who feels like this, as Arnold writes, “The same heart beats in every human breast” (23). The narrator pleads for an end of “light words” and “gay smiles” and yearns for an honest conversation with his beloved, but she does not open up (7, 8). Most people going through their societal daily routines, like his beloved, don’t even recognize this crisis, perpetuating the social construct that we should be what society tells us to be. No questions asked. So if everyone has two sides to their identity, why don’t we acknowledge this and express our genuine self to one another? Arnold argues that we are too “dumb” to recognize what is happening around us, as we are too fixated with keeping up the surface level versions of ourselves (25).

Eliot’s “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock” also comments on the treatment of the divided self with Prufrock’s stream of consciousness articulating his hatred of routine human nature. The fragmented and evocative poem explores the tragedy that is human inactivity by first painting a picture of a disconnected society where even the skyline parallels a "patient etherized upon a table" (3). By beginning with such a negative and even macabre tone, Eliot sets up an environment where Prufrock is faced with an atomized society where individuals simply bump against one another. Prufrock’s pessimistic and negative view of the world isolates himself. He recognizes the existence of the divided self and believes that he is the only one who notices it. His lack of self confidence adds to his alienation, causing him to constantly question himself. He then spends all of his time wondering about what people think that he remains idle, thinking that “there will be time” to enjoy life later on (23).

Prufrock can’t relate to people and becomes an outsider watching a society of repressed identities. Eliot portrays his isolated identity as he watches life go on around him, but not actually being apart of it. He reminisces on parties and social gatherings but he has "known them all already, known them all" (49). With this pessimistic view of life, he is alienated by his extreme analyzation of every decision he makes. So afraid of exposing his genuine self in fear of vulnerability, he spends his life trying to create what he thinks people want him to be. Unconfident and disgusted by his true identity, he feels like he doesn’t deserve life. He imagines walking on the beach and mermaids signing, but comments "I do not think that they will sing to me” (125). This is a reflection on how much Prufrock hates himself, and forces his own alienation. He comes into terms that no one will truly love him and ultimately doesn’t allow himself to be happy because he is so consumed with what people will think of his genuine self. The imagery of a lone cat is used throughout the poem, which represents this isolation and cowardliness.

Eliot creates a character that exists in a world that is happier than he is because he avoids self-reflection. While Prufrock scrutinizes his existence too much, the people of the atomized society are completely blind to their condition. He comments on how the world spends too much time with the superficial, from materialism to culture. From “the women come and go / Talking of Michelangelo” to the obsession with looks, the rest of society is numb to the reality of life as they are consumed with surface level interests (13-14). The term “ignorance is bliss” can be applied to this text as the rest of society is blind to their buried identities, but Prufrock is tortured by his elevated perspective.

Both “The Buried Life” and “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock” comment on the divided self, and highlight characters that recognize this issue, but are unaware of how to vocalize it to the rest of society. The narrator in “The Buried Life” simply wants a deeper connection with his beloved. Prufrock is conflicted with the concept of a genuine self and his pessimistic worldview drives him into alienation and depression. Both characters have the realization of the divided self, but it tortures them.

“The Buried Life” ends on a positive note as the narrator gains a larger perspective of the repressed self. On the other hand, “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock” negatively ends with the narrator hating his genuine self and thinking that he will never be happy. Both poems reflect how human beings can react to the deeper understanding of a divided identity. One can make the decision to dwell on the rest of society's way of life and how they blindly ignore self reflection, or one can focus on how to engage their individual repressed self. These poems would not have as much of an impact if they only defined what a divided self is. They offer a deeper solution to the issue that all humans face, and it all depends on an individual’s outlook. Positivity leads the narrator in “The Buried Life” to connect with his beloved and begin to express his true self, while negativity renders Prufrock faced with hopelessness in his realization. Prufrock’s self awareness leads to more of an existential crisis rather than a broader understanding of life.

Another key attribute that connects these two poems is the idea of how oppressive modern life forces lives of regimentation and promotes a continuation of the repressed self. “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock” was published during the Modern Period, where modernist writers questioned larger aspects of life and the role of the self in a universal context. “The Buried Life” was written during the Victorian Era, which was a time of rigid social norms and gave a repressive quality to life. Both poems deal with the social constructs administered at the time, and how they continue to encourage the repression of the genuine self.

The narrator in “The Buried Life” is forced to abide the social construct of hypermasculinity enforced in the Victorian Era, where he is afraid to express his emotions in fear of appearing vulnerable to a woman. But “after the knowledge of our buried life”, he realizes that his genuine self is vulnerable and he needs to have deeper connections (48). He also comments on how the modern people go about their routines equipped with their “disguises”, numb to realizing their true identities (21). The people that are unknown to the buried life do as they are told, and simply do what society tells them to do. This perpetuates the notion of hiding one’s true self in pursuit of completing what society deems as successful. The rigid social norms of the Victorian era heighten these routines, causing the narrator to question how most people look at life.

Much like the regimentation expressed in “The Buried Life”, Prufrock’s stream of consciousness is a complete critique of his socially constructed routine life. His life is seemingly empty, as he craves imagination and inspiration. He feels forced into the routines of others, as his culture is more focused on the individual, rather than a societal whole. With such a focus on the individual, especially considering that Prufrock hates his true self, he is cornered to a routine of constant critique of his identity and how it doesn’t measure up to the societal norm. Eliot uses the symbol of coffee spoons, where Prufrock notes "I have measured out my life with coffee spoons" (51). These coffee spoons represent the measurements of Prufrock’s life, which has become incredibly boring and predictable. Coffee spoons themselves are definite and consistent, just like how Prufrock spends his life. He has the same routine with zero excitement. What is almost worse is that he recognizes the problems he faces, but is still incapable of fixing them, leaving a pathetic depressed being.

The two poems also have a consistent theme of lack of communication. The narrator in “The Buried Life” can’t get his beloved to open to him, and Prufrock never voices how he truly feels. The communication in “The Buried Life” ends successfully, which shows how truthful communication is the key to expressing a genuine self, while Prufrock’s neglect of communication causes him to continue a life of alienation. Estranged from society due to simply not voicing his feelings, Prufrock feels so isolated and lonely that he thinks that he should have been a crab “scuttling across the floors of silent seas” (74). He now wallows in his self pity, where if he was honest about his feelings like the narrator in “The Buried Life” was, he could have made an honest connection in his society.

The content of both of these poems still resonates with people today because its subject matter is timeless. We will continuously be faced with the two sides of the self, one genuine and suppressed, the other edited and on the surface. With the heavy influence of social media, users can craft their ideal surface self. Creating another person, more so the ideal person, not only takes an Instagram account, but it takes an absolute numbness to the reality of self awareness. Similar to the arguments made in Arnold’s and Eliot’s poems, social media forces users to present a different version of themselves, like a disguise. This virtual ideal self that we spend most of our time online creating conforms to the ideal standards of our modern society. We mask our genuine identities equipped with pimples, stretch marks, and fat, with photo editing apps to hide our true imperfections. We censor our online presence to appease to the masses, afraid of what people might think of our true opinions.

Escaping the demand to create a virtual self is impossible. Social media dictates our social, professional, and romantic lives. Our profiles become apart of our identities, with numbers of likes and comments dictating our relationships. 2017 makes it impossible to avoid social media, as it is necessary for a social life. We are now forced to create these two different versions of ourselves, putting the most dynamic online for the world to see with one click. We can all relate to Prufrock’s feelings of doubt and anxiousness, as we rely on a number of likes or a follower count for a determination of self worth.

Instead of appreciating the beauty in the world around us, we look through the camera’s on our phones. This can be paralleled to Eliot’s line, “In the room the women come and go / Talking of Michelangelo”, where the women in the poem are simply talking about the great art instead of actually enjoying it (13-14). We often overlook experiences because we are so consumed with capturing it on our phones and posting them to social media, so people know how interesting we are. Eliot’s comment on self presentation parallels the identity that we create online, where people are only concerned with aesthetics rather than content. Arnold’s “The Buried Life” reflects on the masks we wear to disguise the parts of ourselves seen as ugly. These “disguises” can be paralleled to our online presence, where filters conceal our genuine identities (21).

When using social media, we tend to put the best versions of ourselves online in attempt to communicate to our audiences that we are flawless human beings. But at what cost does this attempt to create this perfect person do to the original? Photographing every sandwich, new outfit, and sunset creates almost a wall between the real world and an Instagram feed. It makes sense, don’t we all just want our lives to appear superior to what they are? Where filters blur out the imperfections and the amount of likes confirms popularity? It seems as we constantly display our lives across every social media platform, we are missing out on what's happening around us in the process of trying to create this ideal virtual person.

So, what does all of this mean? I think that it is somewhat comforting that someone 100 years ago feels the way I do now. We are constantly forced to do what society tells us to do from our first day on Earth. 1. Be a kind, smart, beautiful person from a young age. 2. Go to college and make lasting friendships along with earning a stellar degree. 3. Get a well paying job and find your one true love. 4. Settle down in a nice neighborhood and have children. 5. Repeat.

The fear of losing comfort in predictability hinders us from going against the grain and tending to our genuine self. This five step formula for a happy life tells us that if we simply follow these steps, then we will be happy. But this formula doesn’t work for everyone. In following it, we are suppressing our genuine self as we let society make our own decisions. The surface level self is following this formula while the repressed genuine self is falling behind, leaving individual happiness in its path. Even though it is easier to follow this formula, or so we think, the genuine self ultimately controls our true happiness. If we do not tend to our genuine self and make our own decisions in regards to it, we will never truly be happy.

Works Cited

Arnold, Matthew. "The Buried Life." Empedocles on Etna, and Other Poems. B. Fellowes, ed.

London: Cambridge U. Press, 1852. Representative Poetry Online. Apr. 2002. University

of Toronto. Web. 26 Mar 2010.

Eliot, T.S. “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.” Literature: Reading Fiction, Poetry, and

Drama, edited by Robert DiYanni, 6th ed, McGraw-Hill, 2007, pp. 1102-1105.